My Daughter’s Guide to Gaming With Me

I had a great time on holiday with my family to the Brecon Beacons.  A key part of any extended family-time is the opportunity for me to be ruthlessly mocked by my children.

This holiday was no exception.While we were creating D&D characters I noticed my youngest had created a ‘helpful’ guide to multiplayer gaming with her father.  It appears during the games we’ve played together (Heroes of the Storm, World of Warcraft, Marvel Heroes, Torchlight 2 etc) she’s noticed my natural leadership qualities / histrionic panic-shouting.

To be honest, I’m sure several of the adults I game with can sympathise 😀

What I Say (Allegedly)

Gaming1

  • Heal me!
  • Noooo!
  • Top lane!  No, bottom lane!  No, top lane! (etc)
  • A lot in there!
  • They’re there!  All the monsters are there!
  • Right!  Left!  Right!  Left!  No, the other left!
  • Run, run RUN!  They’re following us!

I think I should break some of these down in my own defense…

Heal Me!

Clearly everything is the healers fault, always and forever.

Exception 1 : Sometimes it’s the tanks fault.

Exception 2 : When I’m playing either of these roles.

Nooooooo!

VaderNo

Top lane! No, bottom lane!  No, top lane! (etc)

The MOBA shuffle!

A lot in there!

CarbotZerglings
There’s only a few! We can take them!

Watch out they’re there!  All the monsters are there!

Not some of the monsters;  all of the monsters!  That’s how serious the situation is!

Right!  Left!  Right!  Left!  No, the other left!

Ok, sometimes I forget that people can’t mentally translate ordinal directions onto a moving, relative character.  Hurry up and develop 30 years of gaming experience pls thx.

XYZ_model
For the avoidance of doubt.

Run, run, run!  They’re following us!

Not actually sure which game this came from.  It’s probably from WoW after a surgical, well-planned stealth attack turned into a blanket carpet-bombing of the entire level.

What They Say

Gaming2

  • What?!
  • It’s on cooldown!
  • *Spamming the button*
  • Help!
  • What’s happening?!
  • What’s going on?!
  • I’m trying!  I’m trying!
  • Help meeeeeee!
  • I’m sorry!

Ok, ok.  Maybe I could be a tad less “enthusiastic”.  But we’re sooooo close to winning…..

😀

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