Beds are the great comforter; they give peaceful repose at the end of a long day. A restful haven allowing you to regroup. A blissful bastion against the travails of the daytime.
Beds are cunning adversaries, lying in wait to trap the unwary.
We’ve got a collapsible bed in our spare-room; a sofa that converts into a (reasonably) comfy double-bed. You take the various cushions out and then unfold the bed from the base. It all fits together pretty tightly so there’s not much room between all the moving components. Additionally, the sofa is pushed up against the window so you have to clamber all over it to get to the curtains.
I opened the bed (with an alarming snap that is probably exactly like the last noise a mouse hears when retrieving the cheese from a mouse-trap) and arranged the duvet and pillows. Everything was good to go and all I needed to do was close the curtains.
While climbing up onto the bed to get to the window my foot disappeared down into the small gap at the head of the mattress. I promptly did the next logical thing (I fell over) and laughed at my clumsiness,
Until I realised I was trapped.
My weight had been enough to push the mattress, pillow and duvet down into the hole with my leg, and I didn’t have the leverage to pull them apart (as I was stuck at an angle). The mass of cloth, metal and springs had made a tight seal around my foot so I couldn’t squeeze it out either.
It actually took a while to start thinking about other ways out as I was kind of offended by my predicament. There was a constant war of opinions in my head;
Pride : “I can’t believe we’re trapped in a sofa bed. Just yank your foot out for God’s sake.”
Pragmatism : “Look, we’re pretty well stuck. We can’t pull the foot out so we need to look for another solution.”
Pride : “Just try pulling again. You don’t need to ask for help or get a lever or anything like that. Your foot is stuck in a sofa. You don’t need to call the Marines.”
Pragmatism : “We’re just wasting time. Do something else so don’t squander our evening!”
Pride : “We can’t move out foot! We can’t move the duvet as we’re on it! We can’t reach a lever! Everyone’s asleep! We’re trapped!”
Pragmatism : “We cannot get out! Drums! Drums, in the deep!”
After Pride was rigorously beaten down by the realisation I was really stuck I used my
lifeline; I FaceTime’d uber-wife to come and rescue me. She seemed bemused that I was using FaceTime when I was just downstairs but she promptly came down and assessed the situation. Within minutes, I was rescued!
So remember to have a Safety-Buddy to hand when you do anything dangerous at home (like unfold a convertible bed).
Categories: Diary Entries